The third episode of Bachelor Canada was full of revelations and situations. Some that we predicted, some that we didn’t, and one that we didn’t want to hear. Our favorites grew stronger and the leaderboard in the bitch-a-thon turned into a non-contest.
Kara was chosen for the 1:1 date this week and she got a fancy denim shirt and a shoe full of cow dung for her trouble. Whitney shot lasers from her eyes and announced, ‘I hate that girl and I want her gone‘. Brad took Kara on a helicopter because that’s how you roll when you’re on The Bachelor. Br-ara were getting along well enough for the first rose to be handed out, but then Brad hopped a plane to Mexico to meet the Sister Wives on a group date. In the meantime, Nicole was eating because what else do you do when you’re cooped up in a house for 18 days waiting for a date with Brad? Brad took the girls to play soccer with some kids and they got to wear short shorts and anticipate the swimming date because Brad was going to take his shirt off.
They all flounced around in tiny bikinis while Bianka continued to play hard-to-get (although her Brazilian half-thong sent a different message) which was driving Brad crazy and caused him to be determined to win her over on a special one-on-one date. (Well played Bianca). The rest of the girls were treated to an all-Canadian experience that I’m not personally familiar with called girl-on-girl lumberjacking. Brad’s pants got wet and that’s why it looked like he was wearing man-capris, which are not sexy but are still better than a man-purse. Once again Whitney put on her angry face and announced that she was going to win the whole thing but instead her group lost the chance at a 3:1 date after Chantelle’s team sawed the big log faster.
Chantelle took the group date as an opportunity to announce to Brad that she’s hasn’t kissed a man in four years, but then felt compelled to also share with him that she is a virgin. He had the courtesy not to look shocked-neither at her news or the fact that she was sharing it with him on their second date. Brad talked to Laura B. about her ballyhooing on last week’s show and explained to her that she shouldn’t get upset when she sees him frenching another girl. The show ended with Tyler Harcott announcing that Brad wanted to cull the ranks by booting four women instead of two, and that he didn’t need a few cocktails to do it.
Kara: I get to see the normal side of him and he gets to see the normal side of me. (oh yeah on The Bachelor.)
Whitney: I’m going to win this game. I’m going to be the winner. (Whitney, there are no losers at love. And also, if you keep pursing your lips like an angry fisherwoman, you’re going to get wrinkles.)
Brad: You look amazing. And you look amazing. You look amazing. (We get it Brad. Everyone looks amazing.)
Everyone (except Bianka): I’m falling for Brad. (Well, isn’t everyone?)
Brad for showing himself to be a kind and honorable man in the face of Chantelle’s staggering news. (delivered with her trademark giggle.)
Bianka for realizing that you cannot fall in love with someone on a second date while accompanied by four other girls.
Brad’s tattoo. With a capital T.
Brad may just be as authentic as he says he is.
You’re guaranteed a rose if you ignore Brad or tell him you’re a virgin.
Gabrielle is a brat. And quite possibly the two-faced B*tch that she keeps accusing everyone else of being.
Chantelle may have more game than we gave her credit for.
Final words from the Rose-Less
Michelle B: I wishI could have learned more about Brad.
Tia: I don’t know what’s going on in his heart.
Sophie: I would have loved him to get to know me better.
Nicole: I never even got to spend one minute with Brad. And where am I going to get Thinsations from now on?
Bianka and Kara are moving into the top spots followed by dark horse Chantelle.
Gabrielle is holding steady along-side Laura B who might be too emotional for Brad. Ana’s been quiet, but you know what they say about silent but deadly.
Queen B Whitney has fallen to the bottom due to her angry contenance and overall sour personality.
Join us next week on Twitter as we tweet the heck out of Episode Four. #bachCan.