What I Don’t Want This Mother’s Day


Yesterday: It’s Sunday morning and I’m up at dawn. Everything hurts, even my hair. Even my eyeballs. Everything’s blurry after staying up way too late just because it was Saturday night.

I practically sleepwalk to the coffeemaker and through the haze, I see what was once my kitchen. Somewhere between cleaning up dinner and now, the teens and their friends got hold of it. Picture a hurricane of caked-on plates and forks and cups and spoons. I open the dishwasher. As usual, it’s full and dirty. The dog is whining. He has to pee. God forbid someone should fill his water bowl.

It’s gonna be a long day, I think and then I smile. It’s an evil smile.

In just two short weeks, I get a day I can call mine and I can turn all this around.

A couple of Sundays from now, I will wake up and it will be the day for unappreciated moms everywhere. A card full of Hallmark sentiments? Breakfast in bed? Diamonds? OK, sure, but seriously, guys, don’t sweat over what to get me. Instead of focusing on what I want, I’m all about what I DON’T want.

I will declare this Mother’s Day “Today I Am Not Doing This Day” and for once, that means someone else will have to. I won’t even have to nag because hey, these are my GIFTS. Listen up, Family: You WANT to give me stuff on Mother’s Day. So brace yourself. You asked for it.


1. I don’t want to walk into any rooms and see food or dishes – unless it’s the kitchen during meal time

2. I don’t want to feed any mammals anything

3. I don’t want to be sighed at or grunted at or brow-raised at when I open my mouth

4. I don’t want to be a human bank machine

5. I don’t want my foot anywhere near a gas pedal

6. I don’t want to ask for a card or a gift or flowers or a hug or anything else

7. I don’t want to trip over anything anywhere in the house

8. I don’t want to remind about or help with work that’s not mine

9. I don’t want to feel guilty that I don’t appreciate my own underappreciated mom 

10. And finally, I don’t want to plan the day (but yes, there has to be a plan, Husband, so get a move on!)



photo credit: photopin




About randi

Randi Chapnik Myers & Mara Shapiro don't get fazed by their teens. At least they try not to.


  1. I think you may have high hopes. Sorry.

  2. Well said, Randi!

    For me:
    1. I don’t want my kids to spend the day fighting with eachother
    2. I don’t want to see the inside of a grocery store
    3. Wouldn’t mind if someone else cleaned the litter box

    I WOULD like to find a decent place to go for a hike


  3. I just don’t want any fighting. i want to feel special. That’s it.

  4. Hehe – great post!

    I don’t want fighting children in my house!

  5. #10 is absolutely at the top of my list! My goodness I am sick of planning my family’s every move. One thing I don’t want for Mother’s Day is screaming, fighting children. Quiet would be wonderful.

  6. I think an ideal mother’s day involves breakfast in bed, all the dishes cleaned up and then the kids out with Dad all day! :)

  7. What a fabulous “don’t” list – I don’t want any of these things too! ;)


  1. […] do I want for Mother’s Day. I know what I don’t want (aggravation, dirty dishes, complaining).To tell you the truth, I don’t really expect presents. My kids have no money, and it’s […]

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