Hrm…What do I want for Mother’s Day. I know what I don’t want (aggravation, dirty dishes, complaining).To tell you the truth, I don’t really expect presents. My kids have no money, and it’s not really a gift if they put it on my credit card. Plus, my husband is particularly unskilled at gift buying. Which makes the receiving really, really awkward.
There was that one year he bought me a dustbuster. Yes, a dustbuster. Because he thought it would make
his my life easier.
And then, there was that other time where he proudly walked in with a package gift wrapped from Coach. Too bad it contained the little tiny shoulder bag all the tweens were wearing at Bat-Mitzvahs (You wanted the $500 one? You’re not even my mother.)
Most of the things that I would like to receive as as gifts are actually on the no-buy list*: cosmetics (What? You think I’m ugly?), small appliances (so you want me to cook for you?), books (don’t you know I already read that/don’t like mysteries/like to choose my own dirty books? And why did you buy me a dirty book? This isn’t Father’s Day, you know.), and jewellery (You bought me cubic zirconians? Is our love fake too?)
I sound like a pain-in-the-butt and impossible to buy for. But, I’m not. You see, I really like to receive presents. I just like to shop them for myself. With a gift card. Gift cards are the best. You get to give Mom something, and she gets what she wants. Perfect. No sizes, no bad taste alerts, no awkward crumpling of tissue paper as she unwraps a pair of shoes that are meant for a stripper but that the shopgirl assured you she’d love (wondering if that happened to me?)
For the Beauty Junkie: If we use a gift card, we won’t feel so bad spending $30 on a lipgloss or trying out yet ANOTHER eye cream or concealer (damn those dark circles and under-eye bags that could be used as carry-ons.)
Note: Actually buying Mom anti-aging cream as a gift is a definite trip to the dog house.
PS: I was given a bottle of Philosophy’s Miracle Worker to try, and I love it. This product absorbs quickly, doesn’t irritate my eyes at all, and is keeping my delicate eye area nice and smooth.
For the Homebody: It’s never a good idea to buy Mom a small appliance or cleaning apparatus as a gift, no matter how much she covets that new juicer (CAN YOU PEOPLE NOT HEAR ME?). A gift card for Shop.ca or a department store will do the trick, though.
Note: one of these things actually uses the vacuum for Mom.
PS I previewed these Cuisinart and Hamilton Beach appliances. That Waffle Maker is the bomb.
Miscellaneous-Type Moms: Flowers, Chocolates (everybody has a cheat day), coffee, bookstore, or mall gift cards, and MOST. OF. ALL., Spa Days. (Just make sure the Spa is a Spa and not your local nail place that orders in Subway as the ‘relaxing spa lunch.’)
(And also make sure the coffee card is from her favorite coffee place and not the one whose gift cards were the only ones available at the gas station.)
Breakfast in bed is also a nice option but DO NOT WAKE THE MOTHER UP AT 7 AM WITH BREAKFAST. Nobody wants to pretend to enjoy a cold, dry omelette before they’ve had their coffee.
*The NO-BUY list is similar to the no-fly list, and includes: appliances, cleaning supplies, personal grooming tools, hair dye, brazilian wax appointments, pots and pans, and granny panties. This list is not inclusive and may be amended at any time.
If you were given a gift card for Mother’s Day, which one would you want, and what would you buy?
What’s on YOUR no-buy list?