When I realized how I sound

I get a Google Alert about moms and teenagers and teens and tweens.  A lot of the time, there’s just regular news, or multiple mentions of the TeenMoms (I’m not interested in those gals unless my own daughter is among them, and then, well, OH MY GOD). But once in a while, my Google Alert takes me somewhere special.

This time, it took me to a blog called They Don’t Tell You.  The authors posted a video  that REALLY made me think.

I had, as they say, an epiphany moment.

I cringed as I listened to this mother harangue her teenage son. She went ON and ON and ON, and even came back for more.

It got me wondering. DO I SOUND LIKE THAT?  I hope I don’t, but come to think of it, I’m pretty sure I do.  I think I lecture my kids, criticize how they spend their time and question their dreams, and I know that I come back for more just to get the last word in.  Even though I keep forgetting that I was the same once, minus the computer, it bothers me that they sleep all day and spend hours on Youtube, and Tumblr and Facebook and Reddit. This is what teens do. They wile away their time until they grow up and have responsibilities.

What I’m careful never to do, however, is belittle my kids’ talents, even if they don’t play half as well as this boy, who calls himself Iridescence.  Because art and music and photography and sport and even computer programming, well, those are interests outside of ourselves. And everyone needs those to feel special, to feel proud, to share a gift.

This mother should give her head a shake.  She should be PROUD that her son has a craft, and is WORKING on his craft so he can be great. He’s not wasting his time.  He’s practicing.  She should be THRILLED that he’s not out on the street doing drugs or drinking or rabble rousing.

Do you think Iridescence’s mother has watched this video?  I’m guessing probably not, since she discounts her son’s musical activities.  But I know that if I were her, I would want to, so I could have an epiphany moment. Because, every mom needs one of those now and then. We need to know what we sound like when we’re crushing our children’s spirits.

Next time I feel like telling my kids off for just minding their own business, I’m going to think twice.  You never know…they may be recording me.


  1. Phew…I hope I don’t sound like that, but I’m sure I’m just a bit guilty. Totally with you on NEVER crushing their dreams.

  2. Leora Schachter says:

    Wow, that was really interesting. I could see reflections of myself in both the mother and her son.

    • Me too. We need to take a second to put ourselves in our kids’ shoes sometimes, and think before we speak.


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