Help me out here.
Miss13, after I hand her the sliced berries she asked for: Thanks.
Miss13: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, why?
Miss13: You don’t have to get all sassy.
Anyone spot the problem?
No? Can’t find it? Me neither.
It took some probing on my part to discover exactly where the communication gap occurred. A few questions, a few shrugs, a few eyerolls, and then, finally, a few answers. Apparently, I am constantly saying K instead of You’re Welcome and for awhile, the use of this monosyllable (which flies off my tongue and my fingers many, many times a day) has been bugging my teen.
That’s because in teen language, saying K is being sassy (sarcastic). K means you’re agreeing to do something but you’re kind of pissed off about it. Sort of like saying, Fine – which means you’ll do it but you’re pissed off completely. Ohhhh, now I get it.
Keep in mind that the teens don’t talk all that much around here unless they’re talking to each other, and then we can jump in. But for the most part, unless the tween is home, the house is about as loud as a library (with computers open instead of books). Many times a day, I’m peeking into their rooms to ask what’s up, or if everything’s OK. That’s when I get a one, maybe two, maybe three-word answer.
These words tend to require thinking on my part, ie. translation skills. In fact, some have downright twisted meanings. I’m starting to catch on but in some cases, they’re anything but obvious. So after a little digging, and a lot of listening, here’s my handy-dandy guide to understanding teens in 2012.
TEEN SLANGUAGE: WHAT YOU HEAR VERSUS WHAT THEY MEAN (NOTE: Tone is key here, so use your imagination)
K – OK but I’m a little pissed off
Fine – OK but I’m completely pissed off
What – Stop looking at me
Stop – I said stop looking at me
Thanks – Legit thank you
Thanks a lot – Completely sarcastic. No thanks to you
Nice – Not at all nice
Nothing – Something, maybe even Something Big, but there’s no chance I’m telling you
OK, cool – Leave me alone. Please
Whatever – End of conversation
Sorry – I don’t know what I did. But whatever
I’m sorry – Legit apology
Congratulations – Duh, took you long enough to figure it out
Awesome – Couldn’t care less
Sick – Cool, love it
Fail – Ha! Loser
Epic – Classic, huge
Sure – I may or may not have heard the question. You should probably ask it again
Hilarious – About as funny as a funeral
That was random – I didn’t understand what you just said and I’m not going to bother trying
I’m just tired – I’m really upset. You can hug me – briefly – but don’t ask questions or I’m outta here
Got any more teen words or phrases to add to the list? Please. I need all the help I can get.