MY WEEKEND WITH MOMMY PORN

50 shades of grey lingerie

So your friend suggests you read a trilogy described as: adult erotic romance, where an innocent young woman and rich and powerful man are drawn to each other in an BDSM (bondage + dominance + submission + masochism) relationship.

Would you be intrigued or would you blush and say no thanks?  Would you load up the books on your e-reader, or brazenly plop your Lady Porn down on the bookstore checkout counter?

For me, it’s the first three. In that order. I have an e-reader, so I didn’t need to go out in public to buy my naughty fiction. But, I would have. I swear.

I first heard about 50 Shades last summer. The books were snaking through book clubs and coffee klatches, secretly heating up the summers and the libidos of the wives of America. I wasn’t interested. Too many other books to read, and an erotic S&M romance was at the  bottom of my list.

Why was I such a snob?  I didn’t know what I was missing.

Finally, last weekend, after hearing much giggling on Twitter and Facebook, I just had to see what the big deal was about this Mommy Porn. I loaded up my e-reader, the modern day version of brown paper wrapping, and settled in for the long haul. Eighteen hours later, piles of  dog poop on the floor, and children forced to fend for themselves, I was done. All three books. My verdict? I can honestly say that I would proudly slap an I’m a fan of 50 Shades of Grey and What’s it to you? bumper sticker on my car, June Cleaver be danged.

These books went well beyond bodice ripping.  They sped past rock hard implements of love, and went right into ropes, harnesses, and yep, clamps, plugs, whips and more.  I’d heard that the novels were badly written, and they probably are (I did notice some anomalies in the  writing, such as the characters referring to each other as Mr. And Mrs. and the excessive use of adjectives).  But, I didn’t actually care. I just wanted to keep reading.  You know, to see what happens next….

Basically, 50 Shades of Grey is about a young, oddly innocent virginal woman named Anastasia Steele who meets a very wealthy, extraordinarily handsome 27-year-old Christian Grey.  Mr. Grey’s sexual tastes run to the… um…unusual, and Ms. Steele becomes the target of his sex games. Except, plans go awry as they fall into some kind of crazy love.

Picture the usual girl meets boy, boy is a rich, gorgeous pervert, girl likes it when boy spanks her, boy whips girl and tries to control her in every way and so she leaves him, girl fixes boy, and they live happily ever after story.  Except with an x-rated twist.

But, to tell you the truth, the story is secondary.  You’re not really there for the pedestrian plot line. You’re there for the other stuff.  The stuff that makes the typical heaving bosom romances seem benign.  The stuff that fantasies and pornos are made of.  The stuff that’s keeping women across the world whispering, yearning, and that made this quietly e-published trilogy by an unknown author a massive underground hit.

There’s been a lot of criticism and analysis about the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey.  Interestingly, when I Google it, what comes up is extensive commentary of the effect of these novels on feminism.  That’s funny.  Nobody is objecting to the strange sexual proclivities described in the books. Instead, the critics feel that the 50 Shades trilogy sets us back. That by reading them, women are saying they want to be dominated.  That we’re reading these books because we’ve changed our minds and now we want to be barefoot in the kitchen. Holy crap (as Anastasia said, probably 52 times)!  That’s ridiculous.

This is fiction. Dirty, smutty, romance fiction, yes, but still fiction.  That means it’s not REAL.  It’s imagination food. Delicious, illicit, yes.  Life-changing, that’s pushing it. Culture changing? Please.

Why can’t we just read our Mommy Porn because we like to use our pretending skills?  What’s wrong with escaping to a make-believe world where a young woman is swept away by a beautiful rich stranger who melts with ‘darkening eyes’ when she merely bites her lip?

Critics are over-thinking the books, probably because they need an explanation for why so many are devouring them. We can think for ourselves, surprisingly, and aren’t duly influenced by everything we set our eyes on.

Folks, these novels have nothing to do with feminism, with destroying the newly found power of women, or women’s subliminal wish to drop equality in the workplace.  These books are plain old escapism. They’re porn for Mommies, that which big girls’ dreams are made of, and something to fuel yoga change room talk.  Our lives are busy, sometimes difficult, often stressful. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to run away for a few hours with Fabio – or Christian Grey, for that matter.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go serve my master.  JUST KIDDING..

 

 

Comments

  1. I haven’t gotten there yet. Still trying to figure out how to download it and NOT have my children discover it. You are very right…we can think for ourselves, and it is just fiction. Sometimes that’s all we want.

  2. I had never heard of 50 Shades of Grey until you first mentioned it a few weeks ago, and now it seems to come up at least once each day. I initially figured the book is one I’d rather not make the time for (heck, I barely have time to read literary masterpieces), but with the crazy lives we lead, I’m now seriously considering indulging in a little bit of escapism. It’s just a matter of finding the time…

    • Jodi, find the time for yourself and your escapism. Not that you should jump on any kind of bandwagon, but there’s a reason everyone’s talking about the books.

  3. fabulous post…I also read and reviewed the trilogy in the name of “research” which is why I gave up 3 days in a row to read them, too!
    I adored the trilogy despite the writing and plot or lack-of….
    I write for mom entrepreneurs – so #1 – here we have a new female entrepreneur (EL James) striking it big while inserting the juice back into untold number of marriages — win/win if you ask me.
    I don’t have a lot of modesty to begin with so as for the term mommy porn – it is cute, and does not bother me – but, like you say – no one is objecting to the sexual play — so why hide that we want to be sexually liberated? seems to me the master is really the one receiving pleasure?

    • Thanks Rachel!! I totally agree with you! All the power to EL James for writing these books and making it big with them. Talk about fearlessly following your heart. Opposite to those who say these books take us steps back, I say that the fact that we’re openly discussing them takes us 5 billion steps forward.

  4. I plan on blogging about it too. I have thoroughly enjoyed the story line, however I have noticed some grammatical errors. HA. Yes, I noticed grammar errors in mommy porn. LMAO!! It really isn’t usually the type of book I read, but I have recommended them over and over and I’m enjoying them. 🙂

  5. Beth Christie says:

    Loved your post. I couldn’t agree more. I have only read the first book and it was complete escapism for me and I loved every bit of it. Onto books 2 and 3.

  6. Hey Mara! I followed you here. I hear you on the “it’s just a fun read” factor. I would 100% agree with you if the whole saga was a bit shorter. I had a hard time having to get through all the stuff BETWEEN the sex scenes. The sex scenes are fun though! No doubt about that.

    • Hi Nina, I have to confess that I started to get a bit bored too. I found myself saying ‘they’re having sex again? Isn’t she going to get an infection?’ But, I powered on, because, you know, I had to have my happily ever after.

  7. Damn, if all YOU girls are reading it for the “research,” what excuse am I going to be able to use???? lol 🙂 On a serious note, I’d say there’s a great deal more of substance going on to set back feminism and gender equality than women enjoying these books. Gimme a break.

  8. elissapr says:

    I too was sucked into this book by all the social media chatter (and we know what happened when I mentioned it to a certain CBC producer, ahem…) but I have to agree…it’s total escapism. And who could possibly think of so many ways to have sex? Honestly, I was exhausted.after the first book! Now, in one of your comments you say you had to have your “happily ever after”…soooooo…can I have a hint as to how it all ends???? Puhleeeeeeze???

    • They think of even more ways to have sex in the 2nd and 3rd books. They’re just warming up in the first book. I just wonder how her veeg doesn’t fall off. Who even does anything that much? PS I’m not spoilering it.

  9. Mara, I read all three books in quick succession on my iphone, unbeknownst to the rest of the world – talk about a guilty pleasure! I was tickled more by the fact that I was able to read some smutty erotica in the presence of young children, the elderly and pets alike. No one was the wiser. It turned a humdrum day or two into something spicy. And THAT is precisely, I believe, what ALL women want when they are a) doing laundry b) giving baths to children c) cooking dinners that consist of starch, carbs and cheese d) doing laundry e) going to bed wearing old sweatshirts, sweatpants AND socks! For anyone to take any of this and turn it into a platform for feminist reform is a sign of ‘me thinks thou dost protest too much’ and to them I say ‘do yourself a favor and get a nice vibrator and give it six months. if you’re still angry then go for it!’

    • What can I even say to reply to that? Except…you sneaky little Jewish American Princess reading porn on your iphone whilst caring for your toddler.

  10. you’re just jealous because they didn’t have iphones when your kids were toddlers. I am a much better mom when my attention is divided.

    • you’re right. we only had ordinary cell phones with no texting. we had to give them tylenol for colds so they would take long naps so we could read (not that I did that).

  11. thanks to mara, i’m downloading now and will weigh in with my thoughts after a long secret love affair with my ipad.

  12. Here’s my take: The domination scenes were the only part worth reading. I think too many women are scared to admit they want a guy to take the lead in the bedroom (under a misguided sense of feminism) and the book gave them the freedom/forum to talk about the kinkiness they secretly think about. Once the domination dropped off in book two, the regular sex scenes (which happened every three pages) put me to sleep. There’s really nothing worse than bad writing about sex, repeated. I couldn’t get past book 2, page 200. But the first book was hot. Not as hot as Pauline Reage’s Story of O, mind you. Or Mickey and Kim in 9 1/2 Weeks. But hot nonetheless.

  13. Jill Clements says:

    I read all 3 books in a week only reading at night. I know for me, a woman of business, mother, and wife I have so many decisions to make daily that reading this and having a man take control of the bedroom and be sensual yet erotic was a win win for me. I want to be taken away in the bedroom so I don’t have to think about painting the ceiling or the cobweb I missed in the corner. And the fact that he treats her like a princess doesn’t hurt… I know some say it is control freak… But I can deal with that part… I’ve been married 17 years… Lol. My hubby said it is penthouse letters with character backgrounds and lives… He is right!!

  14. Good post. I’m experiencing a few of these issues as well..

  15. If you like mommy porn with a vampire twist, check out this book I just read “Sin City Vampire Mom” where the heroine Cynthia gets kidnapped in the 1950s, turned into a vampire and then spends her life trying to recreate the family she had to abandon. She also realizes in the 1960s that she can live by having sex because blood is hard to come by and she thinks it’s gross, but now she is married and has to go through everyday trying not to get caught being an adulteress while dealing with her blood cravings, being a wife and raising teenage girls. It’s Sex and the City meets Desperate Housewives meets The Help, sexy but also very “mommy”, I loved it!

    • Thanks for sharing. Did you write it or read it, since the name of your blog is the same as the book? You can own up, because it sounds great and we’d like to read it. And..authors are our rockstars. So…Did you write it?

Trackbacks

  1. […] Mara at MomFaze weighs in with the realization that our lives are hectic, hard, difficult as moms, so what is wrong with a sensual escape?  Mara lost herself with a weekend with Christian and does not regret it.  (Hey, neither do I) […]

  2. […] I’m crazy. Especially if you’re one of the millions of women who’ve just read  50 Shades of Grey, and are imagining all the kinds of excitement that can happen between the sheets (or on the floor, […]

  3. […] My friend didn’t have to say more. In her mind, those heels would give my child permission to grow up too fast. They were a costume used to change my girl into someone she was not – yet. Someone inappropriately dressed, someone slutty. […]

  4. […] her address unlisted now. Especially since her sexually charged ‘mommy porn’ e-books,50 Shades of Grey, have exploded in popularity.  Nearly everyone is reading this trio of horned up Harlequins, which […]

  5. […] Don (whose real name is, wouldn’t you know it, Dick) irresistible to women. He’s the Christian Grey of the 60s. Someone you wouldn’t mind running into in a dimly lit restaurant or a hotel room […]

  6. […] Review:  A laugh-out-loud look at what’s become a mainstream topic (thank you once again, 50 Shades of Grey).  Tons of titters, and no cringing at all – despite what you’d imagine watching […]

  7. […] Your hair colorist knows details about your sex life you haven’t had time to share with your best […]

  8. […] her address unlisted now. Especially since her sexually charged ‘mommy porn’ e-books,50 Shades of Grey, have exploded in popularity.  Nearly everyone is reading this trio of horned up Harlequins, […]

  9. […] if you were me, you’d say Send it Over!  out loud, and What, am I the resident lady porn expert?… out loud also. (Well known that I have no […]

  10. […] do with kids around. Like hang out in a back room in NYC to try on corsets. Like slip six freebie vibrators into my BlogHer swag bag. Like call any hour of the day cocktail hour. OK, I’m stopping here. […]

  11. […] the abused, and more. I read one article (from someone who seemed to be in the know) who said that 50 Shades of Grey did not portray the roles of dominance and submission in a realistic way.  That was the objection […]

  12. […] the abused, and more. I read one article (from someone who seemed to be in the know) who said that 50 Shades of Grey did not portray the roles of dominance and submission in a realistic way. That was the objection […]

  13. […] 50 Shades of Grey, it’s liked everyone I know is just a bit more sexed up, or at least a little more willing to […]

  14. […] sticking needles in my eyeballs, my reaction was not about me. I’ve got nothing against soft core porn – after all, I’m a married woman. And I’m not threatened by lingerie models […]

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