Hey Ashley Madison, Keep Your Sex Off My Radio

affairs.momfaze

So I’m driving carpool this morning with a van full of sleepy teens when a catchy radio jingle starts singing and wakes everyone up. We look at each other with amused eyes but we’re all dumbfounded.

Beebop, shoobop, tralalala- Life is short, Have an affair…

Funny. Kind of. Not so much. It’s like the silent-but-deadly fart. We laugh, we giggle, we snort, all in awkward unison. Then, a creeped-out hush.

In that parenting moment, I know I should address what’s just happened but I’m not going anywhere the topic. Until later. Until the scene replays in my head long enough that I have to – lest the kids get right and wrong all mixed up in their growing brains.

From day one, the homewrecker business Ashley Madison has been out to normalize the oh-so-popular and oh-so-family-crushing midlife affair. Newsflash: Just because we’re calling this the Age of the Sugar Daddy doesn’t make cheating new, and it’s still not OK. Just watch Don Draper try to keep it in his pants for an episode as he tiptoes back and forth between apartments. Now consider whether JFK or Bill Clinton were better known for their politics or their zippers. They did, however, have the good sense to hide their double dipping from their kids.

For a company that bills itself as “the world’s leading married dating service for discreet encounters”, what we’ve got here is a blatant discretion problem with secret indiscretions.

And what about the radio station that allows this ad to be broadcast, particularly when it just happens to be the one the teen punches every time he’s in the passenger seat?

Ashley Madison doesn’t need to hustle over the airwaves. Midlife crises have reached crisis proportions. We all know that people pretending to be committed are there for the taking, often with the push of cellphone buttons. True or not, its website boasts more than 18 million anonymous members.

Still, the attention-starved company just can’t stop sleazing. Although many of its commercials have been banned, it’s got print ads in magazines and newspapers (pretty slutty ones) and a YouTube channel designed to lure you from your marital bed. But to see those, you have to make a move – flip a page or click a link. They don’t blast out of nowhere when you’re trapped in your car with young impressionable ears.

I’m not judging here (OK, sure I am). You want to cheat, lie and behave like a horny teen who hasn’t yet learned the meaning of the words commitment, love and faith? Enjoy. But please don’t pimp your lack of ethics to my kids who are learning to form meaningful relationships with others. Especially when they’re just trying to enjoy a little music on the way to school.

 

 

About randi

Randi Chapnik Myers & Mara Shapiro don't get fazed by their teens. At least they try not to.

Comments

  1. sjfbarnett says:

    You had me until you started slut-shaming. Unfortunate use of language.

    “Slutty” in this day and age does not equate to home-wrecking. I certainly don’t agree with the garbage that AM slings, and there’s a ton of wrong in that particular ad, but please don’t conflate issues and start to perpetuate shaming in an otherwise agreeable article. If you want to teach your teens about “meaningful relationships”, please don’t arm them with harmful language. You can get your ideas across in better ways.

  2. Thanks for your post. In this particular case, the slutting and the homewrecking are unquestionably linked and, in my opinion, equally shameful. As for the kids, they have so far only been armed with a few laughs and some creepy silence.

  3. I had actually never heard of this. I manage to stay pretty insulated in my Christian cocoon I suppose. But that is disgusting and disturbing!

  4. And this is why having teens scares me!!!

  5. Judging isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes the emperor is naked.

  6. Ha! Which is actually his business – just so long as he’s not dancing right in front of my kids.

  7. I find the company’s entire business premise really distasteful as well! I thought they kept their advertising to late night tv and internet sites? I’d be highly annoyed if I had to listen to this on my radio station as well. Such garbage!

  8. I admire your “tell it like it is” tone in this post – some very good points. Sadly, these days our teens are exposed to so many twisted messages, I am really worried about the ideas they pick up and their perspectives on healthy relationships. Raising healthy kids seems like an uphill battle sometimes when you think about what they are bombarded with in the media.

    • Thanks. I think it’s our job to talk to our kids about what feels right and what doesn’t. Just because millions of people do a stupid thing doesn’t make it any less a stupid thing.

  9. What???!!! I’ve never even heard of this. Disgusted.

  10. you are so right with everything you have said above.
    This world is a big mess and every day it gets worst.
    (hugs)

    http://ramblingmomma03.blogspot.ca

  11. VERY well said! Wow, someone is making a ton of money on shady morals! So sad and very pathetic, couldn’t agree with you more, keep it out of our children’s faces. Commitment, love and faith, not a huge money maker, true… but this lets me sleep at night and be very thankful for what I have! I feel bad for the ones that are always searching, never finding…

  12. I never did agree with what AM promotes, but sadly this is life. They’re are the only website or company that promotes this sort of disgusting behavior. However if people are going to cheat, they are going to cheat. They don’t need AM to do that. I wonder how the owner of this company can live with himself at the end of the day though. Oh my ad, he doesn’t care! Look at all the money he’s bringing in! Sadly all about the money now a days with some people.

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